Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Can we just take a moment to give thanks for one of the greatest products of modern technology, Twitpic? Every now and then, your timeline is plagued by some photo of an ugly baby or fat dude's disgusting lunch. However, if you follow the "Guy Code" ladies, you know the sexy rewards of the Twitpic. Any time Melanie Iglesias, April Rose and Lisa Ramos are feeling sassy, they snap a pic and post it online. If you've been missing the phototastic rewards from following these three online vixens, or just want to relive them, we've collected 30 of their hottest Twitpics in the below flipbook.
Thanksgiving is just around the corner, encouraging reflection on what we are most grateful for in our lives. Here at Guy Code Blog there are many things to be thankful for--like Melanie Iglesias, Fantasy Football and of course, the readers. And what better way to give thanks to all you bros out there than with a flipbook of sexy ladies with turkey. So in the holiday spirit, here's a token of our appreciation.
After tuning into the first 2012 presidential debate last week, a few things were made very clear. Despite their differences, Mitt Romney and Barack Obama have one big thing in common--they love to hear the sounds of their own voices. As they drone on and on, we start checking out.
The genius behind Bad Lip Reading has done us a favor. Besides not only creating one of the greatest political spoofs of this election, BLR gives Washington a few pointers. Think about it, by now we all know the policies, plans and promises of each candidate. But what we don't know is what would happen if their speeches were based solely off lip reading. I say we throw them in a room, let them unassumingly talk to their hearts' content and cut the sound. Boom. Now that's how you decide an election.
This fall's breakout reality hit, "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo," is a mystery to guys everywhere. In honor of tonight's "South Park" episode "Raising the Bar," airing on Comedy Central at 10 p.m., we have unearthed some hidden gems of advice from the women of the Boo Boo family. The show, a spin-off of TLC's "Toddlers and Tiaras," features seven-year-old beauty queen Alana Thompson. Alana, better known as "Honey Boo Boo," lives in Georgia with her parents, "Mama June," "Suga Bear" and her three older sisters. In true Guy Code fashion the Boo Boo women are here to hit you with some knowledge about the opposite sex. Who would have thought Honey Boo Boo could be the world's greatest wingman?
Are you that guy who checks his credit card statement after a long weekend and wants to crawl into a black hole? Opening bar tabs like you're Kanye West, it happens to the best of us. Here's an idea: why not cut down your spending in the bathroom? For those who are trying to save their money for more important things, we have found some revolutionary ways to pinch your pockets and your cheeks.
Do you ever find yourself doubting your ability to absolutely scare the s*** out of someone? Need to establish some authority in the workplace? Can't ditch that clingy drunk girl at the party? Ain't nothing Dr. Trill can't handle. Now you can too, when he shows you how to "Release the Beast." Dr. Trill's step-by-step program will teach you that it's okay to straight up let it all out. That's right, let that inner lion roar and tell anyone who questions you to take it in the face.
We get it, sometimes in college you gotta do what you gotta do to fit in. But there is a point when you just have to step back and say, WTF? Case in point: butt chugging. That's alcohol through your butt hole. Trust us, not "everyone" is doing it. Just a few token dumbasses like this kid, Alexander Broughton, a member of Pi Kappa Alpha at the University of Tennessee who was hospitalized over the weekend with a .40 blood alcohol level.
Dude, you're in the frat. Your colon already hates you. What type of chick were you trying to impress? "Did you see how many beers Johnny drank through his ass last night? He's so hot," said no girl ever. What was this kid thinking? Have fun shaking your new frat name A-hole Alex. There is no explanation for sticking a beer funnel in your butt. Why change what has worked since the beginning of time? Buy a thirty rack and take your beers to face like a real bro.
And the 2012 Emmy winners are….who cares? The real prize at last night's Emmys was Sofia Vergara's wardrobe malfunction. We're not talking nip slip, or side-boob action. Apparently her Columbian culo was too much for her gown and it busted out. While most leading ladies would hide in shame, Vergara proudly bent right over and shared her special moment with the world. Her 2.7 million followers were graced with above photo, accompanied by this tweet last night: "Yes!!!! This happend 20 min before we won!!!! Jajajajja. I luv my life!!!!"
You better be partying tonight in honor of the national holiday. It's the 10th annual International Talk Like a Pirate Day--the only holiday where cheap rum flows like sadness at dive bars, eye patches are encouraged and stupid pirate jokes will earn you points with the ladies. After all, chicks dig that Johnny Depp swag. You can even get away with not showering and claim it's because you're "in character." Since most of the ladies will already have heard two dozen booty jokes from "that guy" at the office, we've collected 10 new pirate pickup lines to help you out.
1. Thanks to you my peg leg is not the only wood around.
2. Wanna get out of here and walk my plank?
3. My ship is looking for a friendly port.
4. Don't worry, scurvy isn't an STD.
5. Your skull would look perfect on my crossbones. Read More...
Are you steady sitting broke up on your block? Do you think two plus two still equals four? Well Dr. Trill is about to take you back to school, where two plus two equals $4,000,000 aka you're rich bitch. Sure, any second-grade mathematician would disagree but once you're enrolled in the "Take It In The Face" system, you'll learn how to turn math into magic into money. So go on with your Trillionaire self and tell math to suck it while you make it rain.