Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Today is all about scary sights, but you might also hear some scary sounds, like the groans of a wicked spirit haunting your apartment or more likely your roommate's wicked hangover. (Hey, the Red Sox won -- we had to throw a couple "wickeds" in there.) That's why GIF Code is here to help you distinguish between a black cat's unlucky meow, a sexy black cat's very lucky meow and all the other inexplicable noises of October 31st.
After each new episode of "Girl Code," we're breaking down the big takeaways for guys. Ignorance is bliss, but knowing ladies' secrets to up your game is even better.
Let Her Pop Your Zits -- It's A Sign Of Deep, Gross Intimacy
You'd never want to squeeze your girlfriend's acne, but for some reason she might enjoy popping your pimples. "After your boyfriend shaves, there's always that little one," Carly Aquilino says. "GIVE ME THAT!" (Andrew Schulz has a pretty laid-back attitude about the whole thing: "If I can't reach it, you can pop it -- but if I can reach it, I want to pop it for myself.")
This activity might be more than skin-deep, though. As Jessimae Peluso explains, "If you start popping stuff on your dude, that's like intimacy -- at its grossest, but like at a real, intimate level." And Jordan Carlos can second that emotion: "I once had a girlfriend in college drain a cyst for me. When it was done, I nearly proposed to her."
If It's Her First Time, Be A Gentleman, Not A D-Bag
Like on "Star Trek," a lot of guys want to go where no man has gone before. But if you ruin a lady's first time by treating her like an object, she'll remember you that way forever. That's why Jessimae urges girls, "Lose it...to a sweet boy," even if Schulz is skeptical: "There's no right guy. ... When you lose it, you're gonna be like, this is a big disappointment, I thought sex was going to be cooler than this -- and last a lot longer."
Add to that list April Rose, who's also back in Maxim this month. She won the magazine's "Hometown Hotties" competition a few years ago, and even though she (probably) won't be appearing in similar lingerie on "Girl Code," she still has plenty of advice to share. Check out the full gallery and then tune in tonight!
Tonight, the Red Sox might clench their third World Series victory in a decade. What was considered impossible 10 years ago -- to a supernatural degree -- is almost boring now. Almost, but not quite, because there are few things prettier than the smile on a Red Sox fan girl's face, when she isn't screaming rageful obscenities at the screen.
Our drinking buddies (and procrastination-enablers) at Cracked just released their second book, "The De-Text Book," which busts myth after myth that you probably believe. And since porn teaches guys plenty of misconceptions about sex, here's an excerpt to keep you from mistaking fantasy for reality, unless your sex life is way crazier than ours.
Depending on where you live, sex education in school can range from "Put this condom on a banana" to "There is no such thing as sex; any mention of such will result in immediate expulsion and enrollment on the sex offender registry." Meaning that for most modern teens, their first actual look at sex will come one of two ways: (1) from watching Internet porn or (2) from walking in on Mom and Dad, who didn't know school was only a half day today and took the opportunity to start humping on the sofa. The same sofa where you and your brother sit and play video games, and where you place your cookie between bites.
Obviously, the former provides much more explicit information about the actual mechanism of sex than the latter (unless you had one of those weird dads who, instead of yelling and covering up, just made cold, unblinking eye contact and kept going). This means that millions of nervous young folks are engaging in their first sexual encounter with only porn to guide their expectations. Well, we have good news and bad news...
Another weekend's gone and you're struggling to keep your head up at school or work, mindlessly gazing out the window at increasingly bleak weather. That's a lot of downers, but cheer up, guys, because Melanie Iglesias just gave us a ray of YouTube sunshine. In this behind-the-scenes video from her recent shoot with photographer Nick Saglimbeni in L.A., the focus might be her heart-shaped sunglasses -- not, y'know, ice cream dripping all over her body -- but it'll still put a smile on your face if you've got a pulse:
No wonder Cleveland Cavaliers point guard Kyrie Irving gave Melanie a shout out on Twitter last week for "Woman Crush Wednesday":