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Hungover Links: Pizzaghetti, Hot Girls All Alone & More

Posted 6/10/13 10:00 am EST by in News

liquor
Photo: Geekosystem

While you were drinking...

  • You don't have to be a Star Wars dork to appreciate the fine craftsmanship put into the above AT-AT liquor cabinet. Check out the amazing mahogany- and brass-trim details here.
  • "Soon all you could hear were the delicate gags and slurps from the girl on screen. I breathed deeply and looked around. I don't know what I expected." One dude's recollections from a recent porn screening party.

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Hungover Links: Next Level S***, Chickens Without Penises & More

Posted 6/7/13 10:00 am EST by in News

scooter
Photo: theCHIVE

While you were drinking...

  • How the chicken lost its penis. (Where did you think tenders came from?)

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Photos To Make You Believe In (Hilarious, Painful) Karma

Posted 6/6/13 3:00 pm EST by in Photos

there_is_nothing_quite_like_getting_justice_33
Photo via The Chive

Oftentimes the world isn't a fair place. Bad things happen to good people, crimes go unpunished, the girl you love prefers to stay with a douche bag who treats her like garbage.... It can seem like a cold, uncaring universe out there.

Every now and then, however, there's evidence of cosmic justice. We're not getting all religious on you -- we're just saying that sometimes, jerks and morons get what's coming to them. And sometimes those comeuppances are captured in glorious photographs like the GIF above. Head over to the Chive for more reasons to treat others with kindness.

MORE: "Karma Is A Bitch (30 Photos)"

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Hungover Links: The Kissing Miami Heat Girls & More

Posted 6/6/13 10:00 am EST by in News

heat
Photo: NIS

While you were drinking...

  • The sports fans (above) macking at the Miami Heat game from the other night have been identified. Get to cyber-stalkin', gents!
  • Scientists at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln named a Southeast Asian lizard fossil after Jim Morrison.
  • Ranked: Every Jim Jarmusch film from worst to best. (The one with RZA and GZA clocks in at #9.)

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Why Do Girls' Tan Lines Drive Us So Crazy?

Posted 6/5/13 4:00 pm EST by in Ladies, Photos

tan lines
Photo: The Chive

We're not typically attracted to splotchy skin. And yet, there's something magical when you can see the shape of chicks' bikinis/underwear in suntan form. How does it make any sense? What explains this phenomenon?

Maybe we're overanalyzing here. Really, we should just kick back on our beach towel and admire the (semi-NSFW) scenery over at the Chive. We should also apply sunscreen evenly, because we're pretty sure that women don't find our tan lines nearly as attractive.

MORE: "It's The Season For Tan Lines (29 Photos)" [NSFW]

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'D.Lemon In The Morning': Do Not Inject Caulk Into Your C**k

Posted 6/5/13 2:02 pm EST by in Comedy, Video

d.lemon_1

Damien Lemon from "Guy Code" (and soon, "Guy Court") is back with a new episode of his web series "D.Lemon in the Morning." In it, the ratings for his morning talk show are sliding and management isn't happy. He needs to bring in cash for the network, but he's not so sure about accepting advertisements from an unlicensed plastic surgeon.

Cosmetic surgery was a hot topic on last night's "Girl Code." (Hot as in controversial, not hot as in boob implants are hot.) Whether you're for or against getting work done, we can all agree that a medical degree should be a prerequisite for entering the profession...or else you'll just end up with madness like this:

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The Opponents' Playbook: Girls Don't Want A Whipped Man

Posted 6/5/13 11:00 am EST by in Ladies

condom first

A guy should make decisions based on all the data available, and "Girl Code" is a treasure trove of information. (Even if you make decisions based on all the tequila available, "Girl Code" is still a treasure trove of info.) Here are the lessons for guys from last night's two episodes.

1. Girls Don't Want You To Be Whipped

They might think they want a guy to dote on them hand and foot ("to be...a drone on the queen," as Jessimae Peluso puts it), but they actually want a guy who stands up for himself. Tanisha Long says it's a turnoff when a dude can't be apart from her for five seconds, and Carly Aquilino is even blunter: "It's nice to fight every once in a while -- I just want you to tell me I'm a bitch, then I want to cry and then have sex."

2. Keep Cool During A Pregnancy Scare

Easier said than done, of course, but the "Girl Code" gals concur that paranoia comes all too easily. Sore boobs are usually just sore boobs, not a symptom. So chill out unless your girl actually tests positive, at which point feel free to completely lose your s***.

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Hungover Links: Amanda Bynes PSA, Yoga Pants That Won't Quit & More

Posted 6/5/13 10:00 am EST by in News

candy
Photo: theCHIVE

While you were drinking...

  • Have you caught the video of the awkward kid who drops his cymbal during a rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner" yet?

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Before Your Next Girlfriend Argument, Watch 'It's Not About The Nail'

Posted 6/4/13 4:12 pm EST by in Funny, Relationships, Video

its not about the nail

Every guy in a relationship has heard the words, between sobs, "Don't try to fix it. I just need you to listen." But we don't listen, because the request doesn't make any sense. Our girlfriend has a problem, we have a logical solution... but she doesn't want to hear it and thus solve the problem? She just wants to talk about it? What does talking solve?

Filmmaker Jason Headley can't explain this phenomenon -- no man can -- but he'll certainly make you feel less alone with "It's Not About The Nail," his new comedy short about... well, we don't want to spoil it for you, but it "hammers" home the point that sometimes, you just have to resist the urge to be Mr. Fix-It.

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The Most 'Merica Photos Ever Taken

Posted 6/4/13 12:00 pm EST by in Photos

monster truck bacon
Photo: The Chive

The Fourth of July is exactly a month away, and we're already thinking about all the stuff that makes America great. Like monster trucks advertising chocolate-covered bacon on a stick. And handlebar mustaches dyed to look like Old Glory. And super hot chicks wearing stars-and-stripes bikinis.

Yeah, our country can be over the top (as you'll see when "Ain't That America With Lil Duval" premieres July 9 on MTV2), but that's why we love it. Just like we love these ridiculously patriotic photos from our friends at the Chive. Well, George Washington riding a bald eagle with a grenade launcher is more of an illustration than a photo, but we'd like to think it's historically accurate.

MORE: "Born And Raised in 'Merica (38 Photos)"

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