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Back in the day, if stoners wanted to watch a movie, they had to drive to Blockbuster at 10 miles per hour. Now, they can just boot up Netflix. It's easier for them and safer for everybody else.
But with so many films and TV series to choose from, it can be overwhelming. Good thing there's the "Suggestions For You" tab, which identifies stoner cinema buffs by certain archetypes...
1. The Philosopher
Typical Customer Review: "Dude, You Ever Just Think About The Universe?"
This stoner's vocabulary is limited to three words: Space. Animals. Awesome. His mind gets blown contemplating his insignificance in the universe and... like... animals, man. Netflix just added "Shark Week," so it's Christmas in February. (Of course, as the "Guy Code" cast explained, pot doesn't actually make you a philosopher.)
2. The Conspiracy Theorist
Typical Customer Review: "That's Just What They Want You To Believe!"
From 9/11 to JFK, this stoner annoys his friends with dubious factoids he discovered from some documentary. Warning: Might cause paranoia.
It happens once a month. You're hanging out with your girl, everything is peaceful, then--BAM!--suddenly you're trapped in a terrifying PMS maelstrom. What do you do? You run! (Or you instinctively tuck your tail between your legs and apologize for upsetting her.) Then, a week later, she's back to her normal self. You're traumatized and confused.
So it might come as a shock to learn that you're just as susceptible to hormone-related craziness. According to psychotherapist Jed Diamond, men of all ages are prone to something called IMS (Irritable Male Syndrome). It's basically PMS for dudes, and--for your own safety--you should know about it.
The confusing part is that many IMS symptoms are just normal feelings for guys: Anger, grumpiness and "an almost irrational need to break away and be free." Who doesn't experience that crap every day?
+ For more on PMS, watch "Guy Code" Tuesday at 11/10c on MTV2
One of the problems with getting stoned, aside from spending your entire life watching Netflix, is that you get hungry as hell. And you're probably not gonna eat the best food. (Oh, it'll taste good, but you're too high to notice that you've put on 10 pounds in a week.)
Just like sober people have individual food preferences, there are five kinds of cannabis cuisine profiles.
1. The Inner Child
Normally this office worker's breakfast is coffee and plain Cheerios. But when he's stoned, it's a big bowl of Lucky Charms or Cookie Crisp for lunch, dinner and fourth meal. Bonus points for using chocolate milk.
2. The Scientist
This probably sounds familiar: "Man, you ever think about making a PB&J with a donut?" No, 'cause we were planning on living beyond 40.
+ For more on being stoned, watch "Guy Code" Tuesday at 11/10c on MTV2
Forget the tweed jackets and thick-rimmed eyeglasses. Not all novelists are nerds, and some of 'em could drink pretty much anyone under the table. Their characters might've been sensitive, but these literary geniuses were stone-cold. An excerpt from Andrew Shaffer's new book, "Literary Rogues: A Scandalous History of Wayward Authors."
Marijuana doesn't just make you hungry; it makes you a philosopher. Actually, it makes you a complete dumbass, but you think you're brilliant. In this clip from next week's "Guy Code," Dan Soder and Donnell Rawlings mock the deep thoughts of weed smokers everywhere. And Chris Distefano speculates that actual philosophers Plato and Socrates were just blazed on bong hits: "They used to sit in a toga with their balls hanging out, claiming they knew life's secrets." They probably stared at their hands for hours too.
+ For more on being stoned, watch "Guy Code" Tuesday at 11/10c on MTV2
Hollywood's a fickle place. One minute you're slobbering over the new "It Girl," and the next minute you're wondering, "Whatever happened to... what's her name again?" But there's always the possibility of a comeback. Our friends at Guyism came up with a list of "50 Women We Want to See More Of in 2013":
Hard to believe that Izabella is only 32 because we first fell for her her back in 2000 with her role in "Coyote Ugly." Since then though it's been slim pickings for the gorgeous blonde from Poland. Sure, she played Athena in "Clash of the Titans," but we want a little more.
Can someone please explain to us why Kelly Carlson hasn't had any starring movie roles? Seriously. Especially back in the day when she was the hottest thing going on "Nip/Tuck"? (Who can forget that lesbian scene with AnnaLynne McCord?) Did she not want to do films? Damn but she could have really steamed up the big screen. Even now, at age 36, she could still bring it if she was just given the chance. Perhaps she needs a better agent.
The last episode of "Lost" was in 2010. Since then all we've seen Evangeline appear in is "Real Steel," where she was fantastic, in 2011. Unfortunately she's pretty much disappeared since while shooting two of "The Hobbit" movies. Good news for some people since one of them is set to be released this year, and bad news for others, like us, who think that isn't exactly the type of role we want to see her in. Patience is a virtue, right?
Valentine's Day is swiftly approaching, and tons of guys are preparing to pop the question. If you're one of 'em, try to do it in the same damn zip code as your girlfriend. Because NFL quarterback Jay Cutler is currently underneath an avalanche of ridicule after fiancee (she said yes!) Kristin Cavallari told E! News:
"It was so silly. I was in the airport, leaving Chicago. We had just spent however many days together and we were texting and somehow it came up, like, 'Oh, shall we get married?' We're like, 'Yeah, OK.' And then he sent my ring in the mail. So I actually had my ring sitting at home for a couple of weeks before I put it on."
Now, before we pile on, it should be noted that Cutler and Cavallari were previously engaged, and reconciled after a breakup. Also, Cavallari has walked the quote back:
Valentine's Day is a high-risk, high-reward endeavor. Correctly guess your girlfriend's taste in gifts, and you're in for some "gifts" of your own. But if you choose poorly, you'll lose even more points than you would for a crappy Christmas or birthday present, because those celebrations aren't all about your commitment to each other.
The good news: Tiffany Luu from "Guy Code" is here to help you avoid the wrong decision, and maybe (by some miracle) pick the right one. We ran some V-Day classics by her, as well as unorthodox suggestions from gift guides around the web.
+ Watch Tiffany on "Guy Code" this Tuesday at 11p/10c on MTV2 and follow her on Twitter Read More...
"Guy Code" viewers have shown their love, making it the highest rated original series in MTV2 history. (Hell, it's the #1 cable show in its time slot among teens, and #2 for everyone else.) So the cast is returning the favor, helping you show your love on Valentine's Day, which Damien Lemon theorizes Hallmark created to "manipulate women's emotions and men's wallets."
In this clip from next week's episode, April Rose gives you the formula for success ("Nice dinner + nice gift = sex"), former WWE star Barbie Blank makes a special appearance and Melanie Iglesias teaches you how to make her smile. Speaking of which, during the episode she'll announce the winner of MTV2's "Win a Date with Melanie Contest." Are you the lucky dude out of 380 who entered? Tune in to find out.