5 People Who Don’t Realize They Suck

 

douchey-guy

Generally, the more a person sucks, the less aware they are of their own suckiness. Sure, there are a select few groups of people who are so aware of their own awfulness that we almost have to like them: meter maids, bill collectors and vegans (we said almost), but the reality is that some of the worst humans have the best self images. Here are five people whose smirks we’d like to wipe off their sucky faces.

1. Mr. “Tell It Like It Is”

Funny how guys who “tell it like it is” are able to make honest observations about everything except the fact that they are terrible to be around.

2. The Health Nut

Don’t get us wrong, we love to talk about pooping. But bringing quinoa and kale into the conversation? Ack. Please. Not while we’re eating.

3. The “Good Taste” Guy

Having good taste is like having a good dream: literally no one wants to hear about it. Funny how these guys are able to discern the difference between indie rock and indie folk but cannot tell the difference between real interest and nodding politely until we are saved from this horrendously boring conversation about wine.

4. The Sage Advice Giver

Whether it’s the sickest work out at the gym or the fastest route to work, this guy has the answer to everything: except, of course, how not to alienate people by constantly one-upping them.

5. The Positive Thinker

We get it. He’s #grateful and feels #blessed to be living the #goodlife, but the only time we want to hear about how “everything is awesome” is when we’re watching “The Lego Movie.” Go find a bill to pay or an insane person to sleep with and then we’ll talk.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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Tess Barker (@TesstifyBarker) is a stand-up comic and co-host of the “Lady to Lady” podcast.