Why Girls Don’t Care About Your Body As Much As You Do

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Have you hit the gym today? Can you really afford to have that third slice of pizza? Do these pants make your fat visible? Worrying about body image isn’t something only girls do. That’s why Lauren Vino and Tess Barker, two of our lady contributors, have joined forces to explain why your body isn’t as big of a deal to women as you may think…

We’re Too Busy Worrying About Our Own Bodies

While you worry about how much you can bench press, we’re counting calories and researching spin classes and trying to think of other ways to look as effortlessly beautiful as Kate Upton.

When you worry about your body, it reminds us to worry about ours. Between the media, our mothers and other hot girls, we get plenty of this without your help. Our time with you should be a break from our body image woes, not a dieting competition!

We Tend to Be More Personality-Focused

Call it the James Spader effect: A guy doesn’t have to be traditionally chiseled for women to find him hot. Your sense of mystery (or ability to grow a beard or love of animals) mean a lot more to us than washboard abs.

A good body without any substance is as much of a turnoff for girls as it is for guys. Too much of an emphasis on the outside makes it seem like you’re compensating for what’s lacking upstairs, or in some cases, downstairs.

We Secretly Like Being In Better Shape Than You

Women are just as turned on by feeling sexy as we are by looking at a sexy dude. We feel a lot better about ourselves when we’re the one in the relationship with the bangin’ bod. Some girls even prefer more cushion for the pushin’, even when that’s too embarrassing to say out loud. You might want to feel solid as a rock, but there’s no incentive for us to cuddle (let alone thrust) a boulder.

Worrying About Your Body Just Isn’t Manly

Everything you do to make your body look good will be canceled out by admitting out loud that you care a lot what you look like. Take care of yourself, but remember that trying too hard is emasculating, even with all the muscles. We’d rather hear about your 5th fantasy baseball team than how many calories you’ve consumed today.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

+ For more on body image, watch “Guy Code” Wednesday at 11/10c on MTV2

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Tess Barker (@TesstifyBarker) is a stand-up comic and co-host of the “Lady to Lady” podcast.
Lauren Vino (@LaurenVino) is a comedian, writer and girl in NYC.