How To Sext Using Only Emojis

emoji sext

Sure it’s totally against Guy Code to use emoticons–and especially those dreadfully-childish emojis–but sometimes a guy has to do what a guy has to do, especially if sex is the end game. So, on those days when some girl is sexting with you, yet you don’t quite have the time, or skill, for written repartee, in a pinch, sext her some emojis. She’ll get the message. (Or think you’re a maniac.)

1. The standard request

banana donut

2. A preferred “style”

Nice doggy

3. You do the math


4. Public bathroom quickie?

bathroom sex?

5. Yes, but the handicap stall is more roomy

handicap stall

6. Airplane mode

mile high

7. Please tell me your friends can join us?


8. Lemme ask…have you heard of the “Eiffel Tower”?

Eiffel Tower

9. After *that*, just marry me

oh boy

10. Uh…why do you have a Hello Kitty iPhone case?

uhn uh

Photo credit: QuickMemes

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Aaron Goldfarb (@aarongoldfarb) is the author of ‘How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide’.