How To ‘Puke And Rally’ Like A Pro

coors light puke

Just because your threw up doesn’t mean you need to throw in the towel. That’s why college students everywhere know the glorious phrase “puke and rally,” the act of going back to the party after getting sick. But hold up there, Pukester. Treat your body right to ensure you’re able to reach the party’s end.

Step 1: Plan Ahead

First, check the party for all known exits and bathrooms. You don’t want to be scrambling for a toilet last second, and you’ll avoid any embarrassing Facebook tags the next day. Grab a pocket full of tissues and a buddy — he might need to make an excuse for you later when things get messy.

Step 2: Pull the Trigger

I know. This sucks. I wish there were a better way, but it’s better to puke now by the pool than later on the pool table. Before you pull the trigger, cowboy, do one thing: Take off your shirt. This will prevent any embarrassing splash-over. Those tissues will come in handy about now as well. Absolutely make sure there aren’t any leftover chunks on your face.

Step 3: Rehydrate

Phew! That’s better. Time to head back to the keg, right? Nope. Grab a cup of water or Gatorade and rehydrate yourself. In a few moments you’ll feel much better (as much as you can at this point).

Step 4: Assess Your Condition

Now this is where a good wingman is key. He needs to make sure you’re able to continue to party. Are you coherent? Can you stand for a count of 10? Can you name all the types of Smirnoff? Then you’re back in the fight. Just make sure to grab a mint first.

Step 5: Drink (Slowly)

You’re rallying, but can you finish? Your stomach just took a pounding, so avoid anything acidic like juice or wine for the rest of the night. Try sticking to beer. Also, keep that water coming. Your body is smarter than you, and whether you like it or not, it was trying to tell you something back there. Keep the pace slow and you’ll be able to party another day…and maybe even a couple more hours.

Photo Credit: @Kgpot

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Jason Saenz (@JasonSaenz) is a NYC comedian and can’t handle his alcohol.