How To Get Through Small Talk With Your Girlfriend

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Every single day my girlfriend comes home from work, and the first thing she says is, “How was your day?” And that — that! — single innocuous question is one of the worst parts of my entire day. Yes, she truly wants to know how my day was, but it’s the start of a few minutes of excruciating small talk before we can actually begin having enjoyable conversations. Fortunately, I’ve become a master of small talk with my girlfriend. And you can become one with yours!

Remember when your mom would ask you, “What happened in school today?” And you’d reply, “Nothing.” She hated that answer, right? But you weren’t lying, because to us guys, unless we watched our team win the Super Bowl that day, then, yeah, “nothing” did really happen to us today. Still, all women hate our answer of “nothing,” so you’re gonna have to say, well, something.

So, tell her everything! As in, seriously, go down the entire laundry list and tell her everything that happened to you in the past 12 hours, even if it seems inconsequential. “Well, I woke up next to you and then I went to work and then I had a burrito for lunch and then I did some work and then I went to happy hour with Mike and now I’m back home here with you.” That seems like a boring conversation to me, but to women, they need to know all of this.

But don’t worry, you don’t need to describe exactly which kind of burrito you had or what you and Mike talked about. That’s unnecessarily scraping the bottom of the detail barrel. You just need to tell her enough about your day so that you can then ask: “And how was your day, honey?”

Because that’s where this was all headed in the first place. Your girlfriend needs to tell you everything that happened to her for the day. Literally. Like everything. Every conversation she had, every place she went, the entire contents of her lunch. It’s taken me many years to learn that this is how many women process their days — by sharing them with their boyfriends.

So put your phone in your pocket, mute the television, look your girlfriend in the eyes and actually listen to her boring small talk for a few minutes. It’s actually the biggest talk you’ll have all day, and it’s crucial for your relationship in the long run. Then, and only then, will you finally be able to get on with your lives and have dinner and drinks and watch “Louie” and maybe have sex and truly enjoy your time together.

(God, I’m awful.)

Photo credit: Getty Images

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Aaron Goldfarb (@aarongoldfarb) is the author of ‘How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide’.