9 Days When You Should Avoid Manscaping

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It’s 2014 — if you aren’t taking your razor down south every once in a while, you’re doing it wrong. But not every day is meant for grooming, whether it’s your downstairs or any other non-facial area. Accidents happen, and you certainly don’t want one happening…

1. On A Beach Day

Don’t be the guy with the stubbly chest on the beach. If you care that much, go laser. Otherwise, just accept your outer bear, because you’re in for one hell of a sunburn if you take your newly exposed skin to the beach.

2. On A Workout Day

This is for your own good. Wait until after you’ve hit the treadmill to trim, unless you want to know how to feels to be attacked by fire ants.

3. Before A Big Bike Ride

Likewise, if you plan on being in the saddle for a long time, you’re going to be sore enough as it is. Don’t add to your misery by going gardening.

4. On Photo Day

Not all manscaping is done on places where the sun don’t shine. Have you ever plucked your eyebrows before? Well, if you’re about to take a senior yearbook pic, this isn’t the day to start — even if your girlfriend helps redraw them on.

5. On A Sweltering Hot Day

Heat and razor burn are mortal enemies, as you will soon find out if you clip before a humid scorcher. Does your date think you have crabs? Well, she does now.

6. Before Your First Time

If you’re about to lose your V-card, you probably want to go au naturale. Make sure everything works before you start worrying about how everything looks.

7. On A Road Trip

Sitting in a seat for hours on end with a freshly shorn situation will make you squirm and itch like no one’s business, and everyone else in the car will think you have a tiny bladder.

8. While Running Out The Door For A First Date

Sure, if you really think you’re gonna get lucky, you want to make sure your date can see the forest for the trees. But first date jitters are bad enough already — you shouldn’t have a razor near your pride and joy.

Look, it’s not like you forgot to put on deodorant. This is a delicate dance, and if you’re running out for a hot date and suddenly realize your fairway is a little rough, just move on. A fast manscape is a recipe for cuts. Cuts in a very, VERY sensitive place.

9. Your Wedding Day

Your wedding is a marathon, not a sprint, and skin-on-tuxedo is a feeling to which you are not accustomed. All those pictures of you with your hand down your cummerbund will ruin your wedding album.

Photo Credit: Uniquely India

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Evan Scott Schwartz (@TheEvanSchwartz) is a writer from New York City.