5 Stupid Things Guys Worry About At The Gym

psyching up

For a place that’s all about self-improvement, the gym also has a way of making you feel horrible about yourself. It makes sense: A gym is a building where you’re supposed to perform feats of strength in front of people who are much better than you at performing feats of strength. Factor in the fact that your workout clothes may make you look like an idiot, and going to the gym can be very stressful. But, as is often the case, you’re causing yourself too much stress. Here are five worries we’ve all had that you shouldn’t let bother you any longer.

1. Your Socks Look Weird

You’ve planned gym day on laundry day, and all your white socks are in the washing machine. Can you really show up wearing black socks with running shoes? Of course you can. If anything, people will realize how dedicated you are to working out and begin to question their own commitment. Just don’t wear your smelly unwashed shirt.

2. Huge Dudes Are Judging You

You’re struggling to do curls with 20-pound weights between two guys who are doing curls with 50-pound weights like it’s nothing. You think they’re silently laughing  at you, but trust us, they’re too busy staring at themselves in the mirror. You probably get more girls than those guys anyway, because they never leave the gym. (They live in a secret room under the treadmills.)

3. Hot Girls Are Judging You

You get on an exercise bike next to a babe who’s already riding. After 15 minutes, you’re sweating out last night’s booze and she still looks like she’s barely getting started. Don’t worry, she doesn’t even notice you. It’s not that she doesn’t think you’re worth noticing; it’s just that she’s a hot gym girl, so she’s not going to look up until she’s finished her Us Weekly.

4. Is The Hot Girl Into You?

OK, she’s finished Us Weekly. Now she occasionally makes eye contact with you and smiles, but hasn’t taken out her earbuds or said anything. You’re wondering if you’ll have to change your gym schedule if you ask her out and she shoots you down. Look, as long as you’re not a creep about it, the worst case scenario is that you both go back to your old relationship of never actually speaking to each other.

5. You’re Using The Machine Wrong

You don’t really know how to work out, so you watch other guys use machines and then try to copy what they do. After you adjust the weight, it feels like the machines (or your joints) aren’t working properly. You’re probably right about this. Just ask some guy who works there. You’re paying a membership fee, so get your money’s worth.

Photo Credit: istolethetv/Flickr

+ Watch “Guy Code” hit the gym on the season premiere Wednesday, April 16 at 11/10c on MTV2

+ Follow Guy Code on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Google+

Neal Stastny (@NealStas) is a comedian and writer in New York.