College Student Lets Bees Sting His Junk For Science

bees usda

It’s not uncommon for scientists to publish a study with results so obvious, you’re amazed they wasted their time doing the research. For example, men look at boobs more than faces and people who drink Four Loko have more casual sex.

Those experiments might be needless, but at least they’re harmless — unlike the fieldwork of Cornell grad student Michael Smith, who subjected his entire body to bee stings to discover where they hurt most. Yes, his entire body. Over the course of 38 days, he endured five stings in 25 different places, leaving stingers in his flesh for a full minute, including in his own personal “stinger.”

On a scale of 1 to 10, he found that a scalp sting, a toe sting and an arm sting only felt like a “2.3,” whereas genital stings (and armpit stings) felt like “7.3.”

“We speculated it probably really would hurt to get stung in the testicles,” Smith told the Independent. “Two days later, by chance, I did get stung there. It didn’t hurt as much as I expected it to.”

Smith’s masochistic pursuit of scientific truth yielded one major finding, at least: Getting stung in the nostril is far more painful than anywhere else. “Your body really reacts,” he said. “You’re sneezing, wheezing. Your eyes are streaming.”

Yeah, buddy, our eyes were already streaming when you said “by chance, I did get stung there.”

Photo Credit: USDA/Flickr

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the associate editor of Guy Code Blog