10 April Fool’s Jokes That Are Tired As Hell

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April Fool’s Day is just around the corner, and naturally you want to mess with your friends’ minds. Put some real effort into your diabolical prank, though, because¬†the only fool will be you if you plan on pulling one of these oldest tricks in the book.

1. The Arrested Development

Calling your buddies and pretending you’ve been arrested is more than just a lame joke — it’s a good way to ensure that your ass will sit in jail in the unfortunate event that you’re actually locked up someday.

2. The Very Expected “She’s Expecting”

Ultrasound photos on April 1st are about as convincing as giant fake boobs on a girl who otherwise looks like she never eats a single carb.

3. The Dude, Where’s My Car?

Hiding your friend’s automobile scores you zero points for creativity, while upping your odds of never being able to bum a ride again.

4. The You Can’t Quit, You’re Fired

Pranking a co-worker by pretending he’s fired is a good way to find out what he really thinks of you and your lame sense of humor. It might also get you fired for real.

5. The Faux Fart

Remote-controlled fart machines are like a 2 a.m. round of shots: They seem like a good idea at the time, but they’re actually just a waste of money and a good way to look less attractive to girls.

6. The Prank Call

Is your mouth running? You better go catch it before you sit around making prank calls like a sixth grader at a sleepover.

7. The Sodium OD

Unscrewing the top of a salt shaker takes zero skill and could leave you liable for buying your buddy a new meal.

8. The Zipped Fly Is Down

Telling someone his fly is down when it isn’t is the April Fool’s equivalent of dressing up as “yourself” for Halloween. Don’t expect to score points when you didn’t even really play the game.

9. The Shaving Cream In The Hand

Once upon a time, there were few things as hilarious as watching your buddy wake up and smack himself with shaving cream — but now this one’s about as fresh as that mystery bottle of ranch dressing in your fridge.

10. The Fake Confession With Real Consequences

“Confessing” to your girlfriend that you’ve cheated on her is about as good an idea as getting a tribal tattoo on your face. Even if she doesn’t fly into a rage and throw all of your worldly possessions into the street, you’re unnecessarily creating doubt and jealousy that will remain with her long after April 2nd.

Photo via cheeseburger.com

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Tess Barker (@TesstifyBarker) is a stand up comic with good taste in bad ideas.