There’s a time and a place for Jägermeister, specifically “never” and “in hell.” Although the unholy German sludge makes for a surprisingly decent BBQ marinade, it will give you a hangover almost as painful as your shame the next day.
Take the case of 33-year-old Florida man Jason Buchanan, who allegedly pounded 10 consecutive Jäger shots (adding up to $80) at Mark’s Sports Club, and then started a fire in the bathroom trashcan. He sought to create a diversion and skip out on the tab, police speculate, a definite Guy Code violation.
A fellow customer tried to intervene, at which point “Buchanan punches [that] person — over 70 years of age — in the face,” an officer told local news outlet WNDB. “[Buchanan then] attempts to leave out the back door, where another patron blocked that door. Again, he punches [that] guy in the face, causing a large open cut to the guy’s mouth area.”
Police found and arrested Buchanan in the parking lot of a nearby bank. He’s now facing charges ranging from arson to assaulting a police officer to, and we quote, “battery on an elderly person.”
Fortunately, the two injured customers only needed minor medical attention and (fortunately?) the Jäger is still flowing at Mark’s Sports Pub, with “no serious damage done to the bathroom or business,” police say, “just [the] trash can.”
Photo Credit: Volusia County Jail