The Worst Ways To Pretend You’re Irish On St. Patrick’s Day

irish car bombs order

They say that everybody’s a little Irish on St. Patrick’s Day. That might seem true…until the moment you order an “Irish car bomb” down at the Shamrock Pub, thinking it’s an authentic way to celebrate.  Notice how the bartender and his buddies aren’t laughing? You might wanna find a different place to drink green beer, as fast as the wind at your back will take you.

Look, you don’t have to speak with a bad fake accent on St. Paddy’s. You don’t have to wear green from head to toe on St. Paddy’s. But you do have to call it “St. Paddy’s,” NOT “St. Patty’s,” or else you’ll seem like you’re just crashing somebody else’s party — on a day that, de facto, belongs to everybody. As Colin Joliat over at Guyism explains:

“‘Patty’ is a women’s nickname while ‘Paddy’ is short for ‘Patrick.’ Don’t ask me why anyone actually cares, but they do. The last thing you need on a day of celebration is to get into a debate with some drunk Irishman.”

It’s not that hard to blend in on March 17th, so don’t get super paranoid about cultural insensitivity. Just lay off the leprechaun jokes (and showing everyone your “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” condoms) and do a little research on how to embrace your emerald side — or, even easier, yell at guys who make the same mistakes you almost did.

MORE: “7 Ways To Be A Better Fake Irishman This St. Patrick’s Day”

Photo Credit: Jessica Mullen/Flickr

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