Guy Fights Girlfriend’s ‘Psycho’ Ex With Replica ‘Legend Of Zelda’ Sword

zelda sword

If your lady’s ex-boyfriend won’t get over her, it’s a weird situation. On the one hand, you feel bad ’cause he’s alone and thirsty and pathetic. On the other hand, you need to make it clear to him that it’s time to move on. If he won’t listen to reason and shows up at your house, you might have to use force Triforce.

Texas man Eugene Thompson claims that his girlfriend’s “psycho” ex-husband came to their home last Saturday night and chased him. “I am like, ‘Go away, you don’t live here anymore,'” he recounts, according to Click2Houston. “So I jumped in the closet and I grabbed one of my replica swords.”

You see, Thompson’s pastime is to “do anime conventions and stuff, dress up in costume,” and he had “a replica master sword from ‘Legend of Zelda.’ … It’s a good replica and it looks nice and it so happens to be pointed and bladed.”

The ex-husband might’ve “thought it was a toy,” Thompson theorizes, because he “just walked right into the point of the sword,” requiring a trip to the emergency room — but first, the ex allegedly smashed a flower pot over Thompson’s head, sending him to the hospital as well.

To be fair, we’re only hearing one side of the story here. Thompson (who is now “trying to…find a new place to live”) admits to fighting with his girlfriend earlier that evening, at which point she called her ex and let him inside the house. So perhaps this is, in fact, the story of a guy trying to protect his former lover from the sword-wielding, weapons-stockpiling nerd she’d been dating recently?

Only a jury can decide who’s the Link and who’s the Ganon in this love…triangle.

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