You never realize how much you truly hate a person until you’ve seen him eating your food in your bathrobe. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Here are some roommate habits that should alert you it’s time to slap an eviction notice on his forehead.
1. Uses your razor to shave…and his facial hairs aren’t that curly.
2. Drinks your whiskey, replaces it with Almond Milk.
3. Brings a girl over. They keep you up all night, just talking.
4. Leaves a wet sponge in the sink, somehow never does the dishes.
5. Uses all the hot water to wash his bongs.
6. Asks to “borrow” a condom. Then actually returns it.
7. Buys one roll of toilet paper a week, uses eight per day.
8. Fills your Netflix queue with the whole “Step Up” series.
9. Buys cheap soda for the fridge, then drinks all your craft beers.
10. Watches porn on your computer, doesn’t clear the browser history for your girlfriend.
11. Quarantines off the living room for a week whenever he gets the sniffles.
12. Invited a friend to crash for one night, it’s now been seven months.
13. Buys fruit, lets every single one rot on the counter.
14. Forgets his keys so much, the locksmith is on speed dial.
15. “Sorry, bro, I thought you liked taking out the trash?!”
Photo via QuickMeme
Jason Saenz (@notNOTJasonSaenz) is writer in NYC and cleans his dishes at least once per moon cycle.