10 Sentences That Will Always Ruin Your Night

wasted-11

When you’re hitting the town with your boys for a night of mayhem, you want things to get out of control. But if you open your mouth after enough drinks have gone down it, you’ll find yourself just wanting some self-control. Here are sentences guaranteed to end the good times.

1. “Hey barkeep, I’ll have a shot of tequila — whatever’s cheapest.”

2. “So, baby, your place or mi…well, my parents’ place, but mine?”

3. “Oh, you think you’re TOUGH just because you’re a BOUNCER?”

4. “I’m not joking, dude, how much would you pay me to eat this?”

5. “Are you and your friend, like, bi-lesbians or just, y’know, lesbian-lesbians?”

6. “Bro, I gotta get something off my chest — this one time, your sister and I…”

7. “Wow, you bear a striking resemblance to my ex — let me tell you all about our breakup for the next hour.”

8. “There must be something in this CVS that will get us high.”

9. “I love you, man…no, I love you, man…man, I’m in love with you.”

10. “I’m OK to drive, I think.”

10.5. “Good evening, officer.”

Photo via Chive

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog