10 Vitamins Every Guy Should Take

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With so many professional athletes getting caught with performance-enhancing drugs, are there any supplements out there we can take and not get us banned from our dart leagues? Thankfully, there are. Here is a list of safe (and legal) vitamins that will get you performance great while still avoiding any A-Rod like repercussions.

1. Ginko Biloba

To help you remember that girl’s name.

2. Vitamin B2

To finally cut out that bacne.

3. Biotin

Keeps oxygen flowing well so you don’t pass out during sex (again).

4. Vitamin C and Zinc

Fights germs, so you won’t catch a cold going shirtless to the stadium this week.

5. Vitamin E

Helps your face heal after power shaving in the car while commuting to work.

6. Vitamin D

Replaces the nutrients you lost while staying out of the sun playing “Battlefield 4.” Also helps keep bones strong, for when you eventually kick the controller.

7. Creatine

Gives your muscles energy to perform in short, rapid bursts which you’ll need if she ever calls you back.

8. Carnitine

Helps send fat to where it’s needed most and not to that A-Cup you’ve had since Thanksgiving.

9. St. John’s Wart

Helps with the depression you have over losing $100 on the Super Bowl.

10. Vitamin B3 or Niacin

Helps make sex hormones and improves your circulation. Also known as St. Johns Boner.

Photo credit: hugo chang

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Jason Saenz (@notNOTJasonSaenz) is a writer in NYC.