The week leading up to the Super Bowl isn’t just a time of preparation for the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks. It’s also the time when people all over the country plan their Super Bowl parties. There are plenty of factors to consider when planning your party, but the most important one is deciding who you don’t want to show up. If you’re a person who actually wants to watch the game, then these are the people you want to avoid at all costs.
Girl Who Wants To Put On Music
People who don’t like football might not actually realize how long the Super Bowl lasts. A few hours into it, they’re drunk enough to want to turn off “the boring game” and put on some party music. If this girl comes to your party, you can let her borrow your iPod and headphones until the game is over.
Guy Who Hates Sports
It’s totally fine if you’re a guy who doesn’t like sports, but don’t be the guy who spends the whole time talking about how much he doesn’t care about the game. You won’t look smart. You’ll just look like an idiot for showing up in the first place. If you’re not into politics, would you show up to a debate party and ask to put on “SportsCenter”?
Guy Who Pretends To Like Sports
This guy is probably worse than the guy who hates sports. After the referees call a touchback on a kickoff, these guys will probably yell, “Let them play! What is this? The No Fun League?” At least the guy who hates sports is being himself, even if being himself annoys the hell out of you.
Guy Who Brings Nothing
If you’re invited to a Super Bowl party, you need to show up with something. That could be said for just about any party, but it’s particularly important during the Super Bowl. If this guy shows up and tries to go straight for your homemade pizza nachos, tell him he can’t have any until he at least buys a six-pack.
Guy Who Can’t Handle Losing
Having your team lose the Super Bowl is a devastating experience. It’s devastating to realize that you spent countless hours rooting for your team all season only to have them let you down again. Some people can’t handle this without causing harm to others or other people’s property. If you have a friend like this, you should invite him at your own risk.
Photo Credit: Blend Images/Hill Street Studios/Gifford Sun
Neal Stastny (@NealStas) is looking for a Super Bowl party to go to.