20 Terrible Pet Names For Your Girlfriend

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A pet name is a great way to tell your girlfriend she’s special to you. You have this secret little nickname that shows you know her on a intimate level like nobody else. But not all pet names are created equal. You can’t just throw together a string of words, and more importantly you can’t be too honest or direct.

1. Sourcheeks
2. Pudding Stain
3. Baby Shakes
4. Honey Bunion
5. Smashing Pumpkin (was a flattering nickname in the ’90s though!)
6. My One Of The Few And Only
7. Mutton Nose
8. My #2 Stunna
9. Crazy Old McCriesAlot
10. Buttercupface
11. Frumpling
12. Mittens246 (or whatever her email password is)
13. Beelzebub
14. The Object Of My Affliction T-Shirt
15. Pickled Onions
16. Muffin Top
17. Tom Spanx
18. My Little Creepy Baby Doll From The Conjuring
19. Sugar Grandmama
20. Unsteady Bear

Photo credit: FOX

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Zach Broussard (@ZachBroussard) is a comedian and actor in New York City.