10 Lessons Every Guy Learned From Action Movies


Everything a guy needs to know, he can learn from action movies. Well, maybe not EVERYTHING — like, you shouldn’t jump through a plate glass window, and you definitely can’t throw a knife at someone and kill them. But action flicks are filled with words of wisdom, if you can sift through all the explosions and bullets. Here are 10 things you never knew you learned from watching all those shoot-em-ups.

Wear Appropriate Footwear – ‘Die Hard’


John McClane makes one vital mistake in “Die Hard,” he takes off his shoes. Operating on some bad advice on how to relax after a plane ride, McClane pops off his shoes and has to spend the rest of the movie walking on broken glass. A great rule for real life as well. The guy in flip-flops always dies first.

Friendship Comes First – ‘Point Break’

Point Break

Johnny Utah learns it the hard way — he can’t bring himself to shoot Bodhi, even if the bastard did rob a bank and shoot a bunch of cops. Always be there for your buddies, and they’re highly unlikely to shoot you in the back.

Quit While You’re Ahead – ‘The Town’


SPOILER ALERT … if you’ve never seen a heist movie or live under a rock. In “The Town,” Ben Affleck and his Bahhhston buddies get in some trouble when the final heist doesn’t exactly go as planned. This goes for everything — if you go on a hot streak at the casino, don’t wait until you give it all back. If you get a girl’s number, JUST GO. It is always better to leave too early rather than too late.

Always Have An Escape Plan – ‘The Dark Knight’


Ever been at a lame party, and wish you could just get out? Well, Batman is pretty much the king of escaping crappy situations, like he does in “The Dark Knight.” You can’t attach a grappling hook to a circling plane and be pulled out of a high-rise in Hong Kong, but at least know where all the exits are located.

Plan Ahead – ‘A Fistful of Dollars’


In “A Fistful of Dollars,” Clint Eastwood gets shot in the heart, like, seven times. He’s down — but wait! He lifts up his poncho to reveal a bulletproof piece of metal. That’s smart thinking. Plan for any contingency: extra cash, extra underwear, a few condoms, beef jerky, etc.

Be Creative – ‘Under Siege 2′


Steven Seagal makes a bomb out of a martini shaker and a digital clock on a moving train. If you can’t be half as creative as that, you’re doing it wrong.

Don’t Trust Just Anyone – ‘Terminator 2′


If someone is acting weird, just assume they’ve been replaced by the T-1000 from “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” — even if it’s your foster mom. Secret handshakes, code words and distinguishing tattoos can help you confirm if that’s really your buddy.

Avoid Public Bathrooms – ‘True Lies’


In “True Lies,Arnold Schwarzenegger decimates a restroom. An innocent bystander gets caught in the fray. Don’t dawdle, just do your business and get the hell out.

Never Underestimate Yourself – ‘The Matrix’

Matrix Neo

Mr. Anderson is just a mild-mannered, ’90s style computer hacker in “The Matrix.” But wait, he has hidden powers within. Jason Bourne is just a mild mannered body floating in the middle of the ocean before discovering his true gifts. The list goes on and on — you have no idea what kind of cool stuff you are capable of, so never give up.

Age Is Just A Number – ‘The Expendables’

The Expendables

In “The Expendables” series, a bunch of guys with swollen muscles AND prostates destroy baddies. It’s a great lesson: you’re never past your prime, especially if you’ve got equally wrinkly friends by your side.

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Evan Scott Schwartz (@TheEvanSchwartz) is a writer from New York City.