The internet’s the greatest thing that’s happened to anyone since ladies night — but like all things, it must be enjoyed in moderation. Yes, it’s a virtually limitless source of information and entertainment, but sometimes you feel like you’ve seen everything on it. How do you know you’re taking your internet time a little too far? Check this list…and if you fit the criteria, maybe consider talking to a professional or at least chucking that smartphone into a body of water.
1. At this point, you’re stalking your ex-girlfriend’s grandparents on Facebook.
2. There’s a Reddit subgroup dedicated to getting you to leave your apartment.
3. You see the world only in memes.
4. The Google result for every adult site is purple, not blue.
5. You actually cried one time because Pinterest crashed.
6. You’ve officially watched all the cat videos.
7. You found out you got dumped via a trending topic.
8. You got low-speed dial-up for an excuse to stay online longer.
9. You’ve watched instructional videos for “How To Shake Hands.”
10. You’ve turned down sex because you’re waiting for the condoms you ordered on Amazon.
Photo Credit: David Baker/Flickr
Zachary Sims (@zacharysims) is a comedian and writer in Los Angeles.