Why Chris Distefano Needs To Be In NBA All-Star Celebrity Game

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The last two years for Chris Distefano have been huge. He joined the casts of “Guy Code,” “Girl Code” and “Guy Court;” made his network standup comedy debut on “Late Night with David Letterman;” starred alongside former Celebrity All-Star Game player J.B.Smoove in Jordan’s #RiseToTheMoment commercials; and started headlining (and selling out) standup comedy clubs across the nation. Before two years ago, he was a full-time physical therapist for disabled children and his biggest entertainment credit was hosting the 2010 Fencing Masters on SNY network. Just think how far he’ll be in another two years?

While Distefano has already accomplished more than most comics (at any age), his dream is to play in this year’s All-Star Celebrity Game. We want to help him accomplish that dream by getting the NBA to recognize him. To do that, we’re going to speak their language: STATISTICS.

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+ Started four years at the St. Joseph’s College

+ Played all five positions

+ Averaged 15.4 points per game over his four-year collegiate career

+ Scored 1,865 career points and set school record (no other player has come within 500 points of that)

+ Named USCAA All American his junior and senior years

+ Played professionally in Europe after graduating

Every basketball fan knows the box score only tells half the story. Here are Distefano’s “intangibles” that make him an invaluable celebrity all star teammate:

+ Holds the St. Joseph’s record for Most Games Benched For Not Bringing His Shorts (making his career stats even more impressive)

+ Voted Most Stylish by his teammates for his unique home and away jersey/shorts combinations

+ Holds the school record for Most Toilets Clogged Before Games

+ Watched his father be thrown out of a record 48 games in a row (passion for basketball is in Chris’s blood)

+ Frequently missed throwing paper cups into the garbage after scoring over 20 points (making his teammates comfortable around him despite his greatness)

+ Played against many USCAA teams that featured female players (he’s prepared to face WNBA players on the opposing team)

+ Once got suspended for an entire half because he ran onto the court during a regulation USCAA Woman’s Volleyball game and spiked the ball (he’s a beast at any sport)

+ Has been training for this game with the help of fellow comedian Artie Lange:

If you want Chris to play in this year’s game, just start tweeting #PutChrissyDInTheGame to @NBA and @NBAAllStar now.

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Ryan McKee (@TheRyanMcKee) is the editor of Guy Code Blog
Assistance from Neal Stastny (@NealStas).