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If you’ve never ventured to Times Square on New Year’s Eve, then at least once in your life you’ve entertained the idea. Everyone has. Despite the freezing temperatures, the setup on television makes it seem like the entire four corners of the NYC landmark are filled with people making out and having one gigantic multi-block party. That’s partially true, but there are a cast of characters you are guaranteed to meet while you’re there. Besides the usual parade of drunkards, here are seven more people you can expect to run into…
1. The “DTK” Girls
That stands for “Down To Kiss.” These girls planned way ahead of time to make out with the nearest guy on the street once the ball drops, and they don’t care who he is. If you’re fortunate enough to stand next to one of these girls as the clock strikes midnight, then you’ll be getting some mouth-to-mouth. But don’t take it as a compliment, because she’d be just as happy to make out with some guy whose lips are covered with cold sores.
2. The International Tourists
These people came from Sweden or somewhere else where English is like the fifth language. They have cameras around their necks, they’re smiling with red noses because they’ve been outside since 3 p.m. and are about to collapse. Chances are they’re pushing through the crowd because someone just pick-pocketed them. Without fail.
3. The State Of New Jersey
We’re not talking about the people who live right outside of New York City and are practically New Yorkers. These are the people from that weird part of New Jersey who arrive in Times Square dressed like they’re at a ’90s ski resort. They have thermoses full of hot cocoa, and might even give you some if you stand next to them long enough.
4. The Midwesterners
Rarely does anyone from, like, Miami show up to watch the ball drop on New Year’s Eve. It’s usually a family of six from Kalamazoo, Michigan who venture out east for the occasion. They almost always stay at a hotel in Times Square, so the dad will be completely wasted knowing he doesn’t have to drive anywhere and he only has to walk 25 feet to his bed.
5. The Staten Island Girls
You’ll know them by their mating call: The Staten Island accent. They’re usually wearing elaborate prom dresses and big hair concealed by a giant bubble goose jacket. They’ll be snapping gum (even if the gum is frozen like an ice cube in their mouths), and they probably have those “HAPPY NEW YEAR” tiaras or sunglasses displaying the numerical new year on their faces. There is some overlap here with the “DTK” crowd.
6. The Hipsters
These guys and girls came all the way from Brooklyn to “ironically” show up in Times Square on New Year’s Eve, and “ironically” celebrate a new year in the most commercialized way possible. Then they’ll “ironically” start crying when they hear “Auld Lang Syne” because they got “ironically” drunk on the hot toddies they brought in their “ironic” Superman thermos.
7. The Frat Brothers
Be careful around these guys. They’re drunker than most people in Times Square and often attempt to inappropriately crowd surf at least once during the evening. Also, they have their shirts off yet somehow manage to not die of frostbite. If you happen to be this guy, at least wear a sweater when you’re moshing to Ariana Grande, dude.
+ Watch “Girl Code Presents: New Year’s Code” featuring the casts of “Girl Code” and “Guy Code” tonight at 10/9c on MTV