How To Not Screw Up The First Moments Of 2014

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The New Year means new beginnings, a shot at starting off next year on the right foot. Last year sucked right from the start because you made so many mistakes in the first few seconds of 2014. Make this year a success as the big ball drops. Here are the seven ways to make sure you correctly ring in the New Year from the moment it starts.

1. Don’t Be In Times Square

Watch the ball drop on TV, not in the open air insane asylum that is Times Square. If you like being puked on or having strangers rub up against you, you can pay people to do that on your own time.

2. Dress For Success

Break out your prom tuxedo, or that suit your mom bought you for “job interviews.” Throw on pinstripes, or crushed velvet, or a velour tracksuit — it’s all socially acceptable on December 31. They say to dress for the job you want, so dress the way you want your 2014 to be. Leather pants? Didn’t realize 2014 was the year you decided to become a pirate, but go ahead and do you.

3. Make Sure You Are Indoors

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s damn cold outside. Unless you’re lucky enough to be celebrating in Brazil (in which case, screw you), make sure you’re in a nice warm house with a fireplace and plenty of booze to keep you toasty.

4. Leave Enough Time To Party Hop

This a classic scenario: you leave the first New Year’s party to head to the second one. But you leave at 11:45PM, which means you’ve got barely enough time to stand outside and wait for a taxi before the calendar resets. Now you’re counting down with your cab driver, who seems like he started celebrating early this year. Not a good place to start the year.

5. Pick Your Poison And Stick To It

If you’re a champagne guy, keep your flute filled up and stick with it. If you want to pound bourbon all night, pound away. If you’re drinking Jaeger, may God be with you. Just don’t mix all three, or else you will spend the first few moments of 2014 kissing a toilet.

6. Make Your Kiss Count

If you’re celebrating with a date, make sure they get a smooch at midnight. If you’re with your bros, go ahead and give them a smooch too — come on, it’s New Years! If there’s a particularly cute dog at the party, give him some sugar. If all you have is a bottle of Jack and a heart full of hatred, go ahead — drink up! Either way, set the tone for 2014 by kissing someone (or something) you love.

7. Sing Loud And Proud

12:01 on New Year’s Eve is the international waters of moments — no rules. Sing like an idiot, hug your friends, take a shot, down a glass of champagne and make sure you’re happy when 2014 starts. It’s all downhill after that moment, starting with your January 1 hangover.

+ Watch “Girl Code Presents: New Year’s Code” featuring the casts of “Girl Code” and “Guy Code” on December 31 at 10/9c on MTV

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Evan S. Schwartz (@TheEvanSchwartz) is a writer from New York City.