Today’s Dumbass: Drunk Man Puts Hotel’s Fire Extinguisher Up Butt

Credit: Sanchom/Flickr

What a guy does in the privacy of his own home is his business, but when you’re a hotel guest, you have to follow some rules: Check out by 11, tip the maid and don’t ram the emergency fire extinguisher up your anal cavity before masturbating in the hallways.

Unfortunately for 20-year-old British man Joseph Small, London’s Premier Inn had a super sexy fire extinguisher hanging on the wall, just tempting him, and he could no longer control himself. Police arrested the very intoxicated, very naked dude for the lewd public act, plus for urinating on the floor and screaming racist insults at a hotel employee.

“I can’t recall anything that happened and I’m sorry to anyone that I offended,” Small told the court. “I’m truly ashamed of myself.”

He pleaded guilty, faced a $1,200 fine and walked free. We’re guessing his walk had a bit of a limp, though.

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog