7 Signs You Just Got A Terrible Haircut

bad haircut
Credit: dpstyles/Flickr

Haircuts can be a tricky thing: The differences between a decent one and a terrible one are subtle, and even you, the owner of the head in question, may not know whether you’ve been victimized by the person wielding those clippers. But ladies can tell, so here are seven signs that your haircut is nothing to be thankful for this week.

1. You’re loyal to your barber…because he is your mom.

2. Your girlfriend suddenly lifts her “no hats in nice restaurants” rule.

3. People ask if you just got a haircut, then nod sympathetically when you say “yes.”

4. Since you got it, there has been an empty seat next to you (and only you) on every bus or train you’ve ridden.

5. You have a new nickname, and it’s the name of an unsettling animal or body part.

6. Your mom abruptly reschedules the family photo shoot she’s been so excited about, due to “circumstances beyond her control.”

7. When you show your I.D. to bouncers, they ask what happened to you.

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Tess Barker (@TesstifyBarker) is a stand up comic with good taste in bad ideas.