5 Ways Girls Know You’ve Been Creeping On Their Facebook

Photo: Quickmeme

So, you’ve just met a new awesome girl. Now what? Ask for her number? That would be weird. Instead, you’re about to embark on yet another exciting voyage in Facebook stalking. What does she look like in a bikini? When’s the last time she was tagged in a picture with a guy? What is her selfie-per-night average?

All of the answers lie right ahead of you! Before you journey too far down Timeline Lane, however, beware of these five dead giveaways that you’ve creeped on her page.

1. You Mention A Photo She Was Tagged In Two Years Ago

Striking up conversations with girls can be hard, especially if you’re a little nervous, but bite your tongue before you bring up that you were also in Cabo for Spring Break ’11. This is a surefire sign that you’ve done some hardcore digging.

2. You Casually Drop A Mutual Interest

You’ve done some deep research on her favorite bands, but be careful not to let it slip that you “really like Arcade Fire too.” Instead, be strategic with this information and just play the album, allowing her to “discover” how perfect you two are for each other.

3. You Show Up At The Top Of Her Friends List

It’s unclear exactly how the algorithm works, but the first people to appear on a person’s friend list have usually had some kind of frequent interaction with them. If you two just met and you’re cropping up between her sister and her roommate, she’ll know you’ve been a recent visitor. Unfortunately, it seems the only way to avoid this one is to limit the number of times you check in.

4. You Are The First One To Like Everything She Posts

Dropping a thumbs up here and there is a solid way to get some flirting in, but if you’re the first person to like all of her updates, you’ll look a little trigger happy and suspiciously dialed into her page. Let a few other people like and comment before you chime in.

5. You Leave Evidence Behind

This is a rookie error, but also a fairly common one. Do not like any pictures, albums or posts that are older than a few days or so, and certainly under no circumstances whatsoever should you indulge in the temptation to poke her. (Grow up. You know what we mean.)

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Tess Barker (@TesstifyBarker) is a stand up comic with good taste in bad ideas.