Nikki Glaser Explains How To Date A Girl Who’s Funnier Than You

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Credit: MTV

Dating a funny girl can be intimidating for some men. If you’re not all that funny, her sense of humor can make you feel even less clever — which blows. And if you do consider yourself a funny dude, there can be a competition factor. To break down how to date a funny lady, we talked with Nikki Glaser, co-host of MTV’s “Nikki & Sara Live” and a hilarious stand-up comic who’s a regular fixture in the New York comedy scene.

Have you ever had any issues with dating a fellow comedian?
The vast majority of men I have dated and/or bedded have been comedians. And that was a mistake. I didn’t know any better, because these were the guys in my social circle. I didn’t have a life outside of comedy. Plus, male comics are some of the greatest people to hang out with and share a meal or drink…and a lot of them are cute.

But they don’t make great boyfriends, at least not for me. It takes a certain degree of selfishness and commitment to be a great stand-up. A lot of guys, especially the ones just starting out, are obsessed with it and don’t have time to think about anything else.

And I get that. I was like that once, too. Comedy was my boyfriend. But now, after doing it for a decade, I realize that laughs from a crowd aren’t everything. And I also realize that there are a lot of hilarious men who don’t do stand-up. I always thought comics were the only people who could make me laugh, but that just isn’t the case.

I’m not looking for gossip here, but were any of those comedians either Carrot Top or Carlos Mencia? Please say “no.”
No. But I’m not ruling them out yet.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, could you date a guy who’s not particularly funny? Like, maybe a guy who regularly uses the words “PowerPoint,” “NASDAQ” or “Dow Jones”?’
No. Must be funny.

What’s your advice for a knowingly unfunny guy who’s trying to land a funny girl? Should he try and keep up, or just be himself?
Try to keep up! Always strive to be someone you are not to get a girl! Sacrifice everything you stand for if it means you might get some ass out of it.

Or just do the opposite of everything I just said.

What male quality, if any, could make up for having a crap sense of humor?
CONFIDENCE. And a strong jawline.

Would you rather date a straight-laced, not-all-that-funny guy, or a guy who relentlessly tries to be funny? The hack comedian of dates, if you will?
That depends. Which one is better in bed? Which one treats me nicely? Who dresses better?

What if a guy loves comedy that you particularly loathe? For instance, say you think “The Big Bang Theory” is about as funny as a catheter insertion, whereas the guy you’re on a date with DVRs it relentlessly. Is this a deal breaker?
I think catheter insertions are hilarious, so this guys sounds divine! Someone’s taste in TV is very important. I wouldn’t say it’s a deal breaker, but I would lose a little respect for him, which is OK in a relationship. We could survive that, I think. I watch “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” every Sunday. We all have our things.

What about the dark, brooding dude? Is this a turn-on, or would you rather have a guy who can make you laugh so hard you pee a little?
I want a guy who can make me pee.

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Peter Hoare (@PeterHoare) is a screenwriter and dashingly handsome humorist.