You don't need an advanced mathematics degree to succeed at fantasy football. Instead use our patented formula, which accounts for a player's ability to score on the field and off.
Rob Gronkowski vs. Jordan Cameron
Bill Belichick has been tight-lipped about the injury status of Rob Gronkowski, although I predict he will make his season debut this week against the Saints. No spying or hidden camera is required for you to enjoy Gronkowski's alleged gal pal Britney Maclin. Being an adult film star, she isn't afraid to show some skin. Her hustle and dedication is apparent when scouting her game film, earning her a 10.5. Put that with Gronk's expected fantasy debut of 14.5, and you've got a solid 25-point total.
2013 has been a breakout year for Jordan Cameron on and off the field. He's averaging 13.7 fantasy points per game, and he snagged Victoria's Secret model Erin Heatherton, who was previously tied to Leonardo DiCaprio. If she's good enough for Leo, she's good enough for me, earning her a 9.5. Cameron should have a nice game against the Lions, worth a strong 14, bringing their total to 23.5.
Winner: Rob Gronkowski
Sam Bradford vs. Jay Cutler
At 2-3, the Rams are a disappointment, but Sam Bradford has been a reliable fantasy QB, averaging 21.44 fantasy points per game. With 47 starts and only 17 wins, Bradford's career highlight has to be dating Victoria's Secret model Karlie Kloss, whom I'll score a 9.5 The Rams have Houston this week, and I predict Bradford's solid play continues with a 20.5, bringing their total to an even 30.
Jay Cutler has a nearly identical fantasy average to Bradford's, putting up 21.38 points per game. Cutler has yet to secure a Super Bowl win, but he was able to score a ring when he locked down former star of MTV's "The Hills," Kristin Cavallari. Add her 9.0 to my predicted 31 for Cutler against the Giants, and you have a dominant 40-point performance.
Winner: Jay Cutler