Today’s Dumbass: Man Fakes Kidnapping To Have Guys Night Out

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Credit: Hidalgo County Sheriff’s Office

All this guy wanted was to get drinks with his buddies, but he got arrested instead.

Texas man Rogelio Andaverde, 34, feared his wife’s wrath if he were to leave the house. So his friends allegedly burst into his home with masks and guns, and “kidnapped” him for a guys night out. Andaverde’s wife called police, who became suspicious when he came back unharmed hours later, claiming that his kidnappers miraculously decided to let him go.

“We have people file false reports all the time, and we put them in jail for it,” the local sheriff told reporters. “But I’ve never had someone do it just to get out of the house.”

This seems like a good week for guys calling in fake threats to avoid their wives’ anger. If you need to stage a kidnapping to get a few beers, just filing for divorce might be less of a hassle.

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Neal Stastny (@NealStas) is a comedian and writer in New York.