‘Blaine Gabbert: The Real American,’ An Anthem For NFL Failure [Video]

Indianapolis Colts v Jacksonville Jaguars
Credit: Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

If you’ve watched even a minute of football this year, you know the Jaguars are the absolute worst at it. They haven’t won a single game so far, and next week they’re expected to be 28-point underdogs to the Denver Broncos. Yikes. And their starting quarterback, Blaine Gabbert, is so bad that he’s fighting for his job against Chad Henne. Double Yikes.

Then there’s the video below, “Blaine Gabbert: The Real American.” Triple yikes. It came out months ago, but it’s worth a rewatch with how historically crappy Gabbert and the Jags have been playing. Incidentally, he looks like the dude at the kegger in flip-flops who makes out with your girlfriend while you’re in the bathroom.

Some things to keep an eye on: Is this the worst singer in the world? Is this a real thing? Is it a good idea to put people s**tting on you in your super cool “I’m the best!” vid? Is it a good sign to be losing in most of your big highlights? All right, there’s no way this is a real thing…but what if it is?

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Zachary Sims (@zacharysims) is a comedian, writer and admirer of all pants.