10 Halloween Costumes We Shouldn’t Find Sexy, But We Do [Photos]

Crayon
Photo via halloweencostumes.com

Once you hit a certain age, Halloween stops being about getting candy and starts being about getting turned on by ladies’ revealing costumes. Does trying to make a crayon sexy sound like a dumb idea? Yes. Is it possible to be turned on by a hot girl wearing a tight, skimpy crayon outfit? Also, yes.

We’re not proud that we can be attracted to a crayon, but we’d be lying if we tried to pretend otherwise. Here are some other costumes that get us all mixed up inside.

Buzz Lightyear

Buzz Lightyear
Photo via halloweencostumes.com

If a girl wearing this can also do a perfect Tim Allen impression, propose to her immediately.

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Peter Criss

Peter Criss
Photo via halloweencostumes.com

Finally, you can make out with the drummer from KISS without being a groupie in the 1970s.

Garfield

Garfield
Photo via halloweencostumes.com

Seeing your girlfriend in this outfit will turn any depressing Monday into a fabulous Funday.

Mustard

heinz-mustard-dress-costume
Photo via halloweencostumes.com

Do not ask her if she’d like to lubricate your hot dog.

Hamburger

Hamburger
Photo via yandy.com

We can’t stop thinking about how amazing it would be to have a threesome with the hamburger girl and the mustard girl. Also, we’re really hungry for lunch.

Edward Scissorhands

Edward Scissor Hands
Photo via wholesalehalloweencostumes.com

No one would run this Edward Scissorhands out of town.

Michelangelo

Michelangelo
Photo via halloweencostumes.com

There’s nothing sexier than a hot girl who doesn’t mind eating some greasy pizza from time to time.

Freddy Krueger

Freddy Kreuger
Photo via wholesalehalloweencostumes.com

A little skin cream can do wonders for even the most severe burn scars. She’s the girl of your dreams.

Jason Voorhees

Jason
Photo via buycostumes.com

Better hope this Jason has a far more relaxed attitude towards casual sex.

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Neal Stastny (@NealStas) is a comedian and writer in New York.