The Final Season Of ‘Breaking Bad,’ As Written By Dr. Seuss

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Credit: AMC

“Blue Meth and Ham”? That doesn’t sound like much of a children’s story, but Unreality Magazine has envisioned Walter White’s saga as a charming Dr.¬†Seuss fable, picking up with the second half of the final season. This might not replace the post-”Breaking Bad” emptiness in our lives, but at least it’ll help tide us over until “Better Call Saul” premieres:

When last we left Hank he was thrown for a loop
From a book that he read as he took a short poop
All at once the wool lifted from over his eyes
Double W’s told of old Walt’s old disguise

Meanwhile, young Jesse had grown more morose
And no meth, or “blood money,” or cannabis dose
Could cure all the guilt or the anger inside
So he went for a midnight-ish charity ride

Soon Hank is confronted by Walt at his place
Which predictably ends with a punch in the face
Yet in spite of Walt’s illness his eyes become sprightly:
“If truly you don’t know my name, then tread lightly”

MORE: “If The Final Season Of ‘Breaking Bad’ Was Written By Dr. Seuss”

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