Workouts That Don’t Seem Manly…Until You Try Them

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Credit: Christopher/Flickr

Guys don’t try to get in shape. We just are. Our “workouts” consist of playing team sports, lifting heavy s**t and doing a daily regimen of manual labor if need be. We look in disdain at the silly things our girlfriends do to keep a tight body…until we actually get talked into trying them ourselves. And then we quickly find out that some of this stuff is more hardcore than we ever imagined.

Yoga

A hot girl in yoga pants should be enough to convince you to grab a mat (and, thus, get a better view). A minute in downward-facing dog should be enough to convince you that your upper body strength isn’t as great as you thought it was.

Pilates

If you’re a guy, there’s no way you know the difference between yoga and Pilates. That’s fine. You’ll quickly realize the similarities though — both are gonna totally kick your weak ass.

Soul Cycle

Soul Cycle is essentially stationary biking for rich ladies. Which would make you assume it’s a pretty lame workout. Until you emerge from the studio an hour later, $50 poorer and 10 pounds of sweat lighter.

Aerobics

Men go to gyms and fields and arenas to work out. Not “classes.” Mincing around in a leotard while peppy music plays hardly seems like a way to get in shape. Then again, Jane Fonda is still MILFy at age 72, so maybe she’s onto something.

Strippercising

Spinning around on a pole? Guys pay to see that, not actually do it ourselves. But if you try it once, you’ll be considerably more generous with your dollars next time you’re at a peel joint.

Swimming

You might think a swim is something a man does to cool off on a hot day. Then again, after a few laps in the pool, your legs are putty and your arms are bulging more than if you just spent the whole day chopping wood. Maybe Michael Phelps deserved all that adulation?

Ballet

You’d think with all the professional athletes who’ve used ballet as a workout in the off-season (Muhammad Ali, Herschel Walker and Stephon Marbury, for instance), men would have more respect for the tutu’ed arts. Hardly. Then again, does your body look like this?!

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Aaron Goldfarb (@aarongoldfarb) is the author of ‘How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide’.