The Dumbest Reasons You’re Not Getting Lucky At The Bar

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Credit: jotor/Flickr

If you’re a young guy still figuring out how the world works, getting laid is already going to be plenty tough for you. There’s a reason you probably still refer to it as “gettin’ lucky.” But you can improve your nightly odds. Mainly, you just need to quit doing a few dumb — and easily correctable — things that are torpedoing your chances over and over…

Talking (Only) To Your Friends

It seems obvious, yet so many guys can’t help themselves: They show up at a bar with their boys, grab drinks with their boys, hang out all night with their boys, and then go home and complain about how no girls paid attention to them. “We might as well have been in a gay bar!” Guess what? When you’re standing in a circle, laughing at inside jokes, it doesn’t feel like an invitation for ladies to come join.

Watching Sports

Sports are incredible, and sports bars are the perfect location for watching ‘em. But if your goal is meeting women, then staring gape-mouthed like a zombie up at a bar’s big screen, buffalo sauce all over your shirt, isn’t a very sexy look for you. Instead of watching ‘roided-up pituitary cases in tight pants run across the TV, why not pay attention to the people in the bar not watching the game? You might know them as: Girls.

Getting Too Drunk

The catch-22 of your life is probably that you need alcohol to feel courageous enough to talk to girls, but booze makes you into an a**hole whom no girl wants to have a conversation with. You need to do a better job of mastering your “sweet spot” between buzzed and drunk. Figure out that perfect number of drinks to gain confidence but not besotted idiocy, then don’t exceed the number.

Actually, have one drink fewer. If a totally-into-you girl comes back to your place, you don’t want to find that your little guy sadly has no interest in playing along. Yup, whiskey dick. Sleep it off, and maybe she’ll still be in your bed by morning, if you’re…lucky.

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Aaron Goldfarb (@aarongoldfarb) is the author of ‘How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide’.