Presenting The Winners Of The ‘Breaking Bad’ Guy Code Awards

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Press Room
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This weekend, “Breaking Bad” is wrapping up one of the greatest runs in TV history. The actors and producers have already won a bunch of awards, and they’re destined to win all of them come next year’s Emmys, but which characters are the true champions of Guy Code? Here are our prestigious selections. (Spoilers ahead, if you’re not caught up.)

The “Once Bros, Always Bros” Award: Hank And Gomie

There’s buddy cops and then there’s Hank and Gomie. They’ve stood by each other through thick and thin, because that’s what bros do. Sure, Hank might make the occasional blatantly racist joke and Gomie might call him an “a**hole” all the time, but deep down they couldn’t live without each other. When Gomie got gunned down, we all knew Hank would be right behind him. He just couldn’t live without his pal, and now they’re spending eternity side-by-side. Serious bro love.

The “Guys Night Out” Award: Badger And Skinny Pete

If you could party with any characters from “Breaking Bad” (and by “party,” we mean “drink beers,” obviously), it’d have to be Badger and Skinny Pete, and not just because they’re the least likely to murder you. Whether it’s rocking out at Guitar Center, talking “Star Trek” or just chilling with some video games, these two dudes know how to have a good time. We salute you, Badger and Skinny Pete — somehow you ended up being the least awful people in this whole show. Maybe take a shower though?

The “Looking Out For Your Crew” Award: Saul Goodman

Whether it’s getting punched in the face, having a gun to his head or being intimidated by a 51-year-old cancer patient, he puts his boys before anything else. Whenever somebody’s in trouble, they know which friend to ask for help, and Saul’s always there with a terrible haircut and an even worse joke, all in the name of looking out for his friends. ”Better Call Saul” says it all. The Cinnabon in Omaha has no idea what a world-class Guy Code champion they’re receiving.

The “Family First” Award: Walter White

“A man provides,” Gus Fring told Walt, who subsequently hoarded an $80 million fortune. Sure, he did it in the most immoral ways possible, but it was all for his family, who ultimately rejected him for being such an evil bastard. But hey, at least he had enough of a conscience to feel bummed when he got his brother-in-law killed. Like, super bummed.

The “Guy Code Lifetime Achievement” Award: Jesse Pinkman

As Jesse continues to fall deeper and deeper into despair, reduced to a husk of a man, it’s important to remember who he once was: A guy who always had his boys’ backs, rocked hella swag (hoodies and knit caps…in New Mexico? That’s hardcore), and always knew the right time to say “bitch!” Jesse, we’ll miss you most of all. Stay gold.

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Zachary Sims (@zacharysims) is a comedian, writer and pants enthusiast.