What Your Favorite Playground Toy Says About You Now

Credit: Mijang Ka

Your first real social interaction probably took place at the playground. If the other kids pushed you around ’cause you were scrawny, that might explain why you lift at the gym every day now. Looking back at the days of scraped knees and chipped teeth can give us a better understanding of what kind of guys we are today, and how we’re currently equipped for life, based on all the crazy s**t we climbed on and fell off of…

1. Slide

Boys On Slide
Credit: Hulton Archive/Getty Images

You’ve got a “better safe than sorry” approach to life, which ain’t a bad thing. Maybe you’re a bit more conservative in your day-to-day routines, but that means you’re stable and relied on by your dumbass friends.

2. Winding Slide

winding slide by loljam dot com
Credit: LOLJam.com

You still like to play things safe, but will take a risk every now and then, as long as you are aware of the outcome. The Great Unknown doesn’t interest you very much, but you still like to go out on a limb. For example, you might not choose to hit on the hottest girl at the bar, but you will go home early to wake up and skydive.

3. Monkey Bars

Men's Health Urbanathlon
Credit: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

If the monkey bars were your thing, it is because you are strong and can make a commitment, therefore you are loyal and dependable. You might get picked to be QB during a pick-up game at the park OR you might be the first guy called for bail money after your friend gets busted on spring break for barfing on a cop.

4. Carousel

After Five
Credit: Reg Speller/Getty Images

We never understood why carousels were on playgrounds until we got older and realized they were the precursor for getting fall-down dizzy with a group of people. If this was your favorite, you are a Party Beast who hates to see the good times end.

5. Jungle Gym

Disaster-Proof Dome Homes House Quake Survivors
Credit: Dimas Ardian/Getty Images

There’s nothing more chaotic than the jungle gym. There’s all sorts of things to grab and directions to go in. If it was your favorite, you’re probably a very curious type. You like to jump right in and explore as much as possible. You’ll end up traveling the world someday, seeing as how you can’t stay in one spot too long.

6. Sandbox

E.coli Outbreak At Children's Farm In Surrey
Credit: Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images

You’re a loner. This is not a bad thing. Hanging in the sandbox just means you’re independent, building your own castles, maybe hypnotizing yourself with multiple pours of sand on your feet. Sometimes the best time spent is time spent alone. Others might not understand you, but it doesn’t matter. You’ve got your own tools and your own space to exist in.

7. See-Saw

Hicham El Guerrouj Feature
Credit: Michael Steele/Getty Images

If you loved the see-saw, then you are probably hyper-competitive in ways that only Kobe and Peyton understand. You enjoy toying with your opposition, knowing very well that the game can tip in your favor at any moment. You enjoy the highs and lows of the game of life, and eagerly anticipate both.

8. Nothing/Sitting On A Bench

Violin Player
Credit: Getty Images

We’re not really sure what to say about the guys who sat off to the side. You either love to observe others having fun or you might hate the idea of fun altogether. Either way, get in there! The world is full of toys and you’re full of imagination. The bench will still be there when you’re getting old and gray.

+ Follow Guy Code on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Google+

RG Daniels (@RGDaniels) is a comedian and writer in Brooklyn, NY.