Credit: Richard Masoner/Flickr
A car is more than just a vehicle -- it's a personality extension of the person who's driving it. If you keep your ride in pristine condition, and won't even take it out of the garage, then chances are you're a control freak with major OCD issues. If your car looks like you bought it at a wrecking yard and it's overflowing with fast food wrappers, then you probably don't care much about appearances. The point is, your car says a lot about you, so don't send the wrong signal about yourself with these automotive abominations...
1. Bumper Stickers
Credit: Guy Schmidt/Flickr
Not only are they ugly and clash with just about any make and model, but they can also ruin the paint job if you remove them. Plus, they're never funny or thought-provoking. If you want to make a quick, idiotic statement, then use Twitter like everybody else.
A mustache can make you look manlier, sure, but it doesn't work that way for your car. Maybe Nick Offerman could get away with this, but unless you're him, your ride will just look like it belongs to a birthday party clown.
The only way these giant, swinging, plastic testicles will ever be acceptable is if someone starts selling "TruckPantz" to hide them.
4. Fuzzy Dice
Credit: Steve Snodgrass/Flickr
Putting a pair on your rear-view mirror doesn't say you're a high roller who takes chances in life. It just says that you do most of your shopping at car washes and gas stations.
5. Calvin Peeing On Something
Not only is the mere presence of this sticker basically Kryptonite for women, it's not even endorsed by "Calvin and Hobbes" creator Bill Watterson, one of mankind's greatest modern philosophers. We hope that he pees on any vehicle with this disgrace on it.