Credit: Asterio Tecson/Flickr
Everyone knows the song "Bills, Bills, Bills" by Destiny's Child, and its message to the ladies: Don't date a broke dude. That's fine, but in a real relationship, both you and your girlfriend can fall on hard times and need the other to help out. Much as you don't want to do it, at some point you're gonna have to hit your girl up for money. Don't worry. There are ways to ask without seeming weak or pissing her off enough to sing, "Oh silly me, why haven't I found another?"
1. Try Everyone Else First
No matter how well it goes, borrowing from your girl is going to feel stressful. If you can, hit up your parents first, then any sibling you have, then aunts, uncles and anyone who smiles at you in the grocery store today. Try running up those credit card bills (you can get cash off of them by paying yourself through PayPal). If all those don't work, now you can ask her.
2. Keep It Small, Keep It Real
As a rule, never ask for more than 2% of her annual income. That means, if she makes $30,000, don't ask for more than $600. Otherwise, she'll think you're using it to help pay for an engagement ring, which would make you King Douche. And always ask for a weird number, because that sounds more realistic. $574 makes it sound like you know exactly what you need it for; $600 sounds like you might be spending some of that money on iTunes.
3. Full Disclosure
Show her your bank account statements before she even asks. Make sure she understands where her money is going. She'll think it's sweet that you're being totally on-the-level, and she'll feel like it's actually helping you instead of just giving you her hard-earned cash.
4. No Getting Mad
When you owe money to the government, you can't get really mad at them because they have missiles and drones. However, when you owe money to another person, it's amazing how angry both of you can get at each other. With your girlfriend, there's already the huge potential for her to lose respect for you -- if you get mad at her when talking about money, that respect blows the hell up.
5. There's Always Interest
She might say the loan is interest-free, but that's not true. You need to make her feel awesome for lending you that money, so figure that she gets one gift -- be it a massage, a beer, a ride to work -- for every day the loan was out. This tells her, "Hey, when I was hurting, I needed your help...but when I'm strong, I'm going to help you."