Credit: Michael Smith/Newsmakers
Labor Day is coming up and, for most of us, this is the last weekend of the year we can go camping. More importantly, it’s the last weekend to prank our friends while camping. Nature is chaotic, not calm — think about all those earthquakes, mudslides and rattlesnakes — and you should remind your buddies of that by f**king with them in the great outdoors.
The Tent Invader
Before you hit the road, print out a color picture of the ugliest person you can find. (This life-size “Jason vs. Freddy” cutout works, too.) Quietly unzip your friend’s tent and tape the picture over the hole, then shake it until he wakes up and pisses himself.
Add a bunch of sugar to your friend’s insect repellant, but not so much that it’s visible in a clear bottle. Kindly give him your sugar-free stuff after the mosquitoes get a good two minutes of eatin’.
You can order them online, along with fake snakes and other insects and reptiles. Put these in your buddy’s shoes or sleeping bags. To make the critters more realistic, slather a thin layer of jam or maple syrup on them.
Everybody on the trip breaks camp early one morning, except for one dude, leaving him to wake up alone in the woods, abandoned. Drive maybe a quarter-mile away, or find a good hiding spot closer, and enjoy the sounds of him desperately looking and yelling for you. Don’t let it go on too long, though, unless you want to pay for his PTSD therapy.