The Movie Gangs We Wish We Could Join

Credit: Warner Bros.

The best movies are those you want to live inside. Whether it’s shifting gears in “Fast & Furious” or running the streets with bikini babes in “Spring Breakers,” we’d love to somehow transport ourselves on screen. Because every guy needs camaraderie, here are the gangs on film that would provide the most exciting life, albeit a very short one.

The Warriors

Credit: Paramount Pictures

Wearing killer sleeveless jackets with winged-skull logos, the Warriors repped Coney Island and instantly made us feel like we could stare anyone down on a D train to the Bronx.

The Army In “300″

300 army
Credit: Legendary Pictures

What’s more boss than fearlessly attempting to take down an empire? Right. Nothing. There’s chicks, there’s weapons and there’s power. Under the leadership of King Leonidas, we’d gladly march into battle, even if there’s enough blood flowing to drown an army.

The Inglourious Basterds

inglorious basterds
Credit: The Weinstein Company

We’d join this unit in a patriotic heartbeat if it meant teaming up with The Bear Jew, “scalpin’ Nah-zis” and shooting Hitler’s face right off his noggin.

The Reservoir Dogs

reservoir dogs
Credit: Live Entertainment

Sticking with the Tarantino theme (and honestly, we’d just about join any gang in his movies), the Reservoir Dogs are slick diamond thieves with a down-low style of dress. We’ll leave the sociopathic dancing to Mr. Blonde, but we’ll definitely suit up to walk in slow motion while some obscure hit from the ’70s plays.

The “Old School” Fraternity

old school frat
Credit: DreamWorks Pictures

Yeah, so what if this frat is run by a trio of dudes having a midlife crisis the size of Kanye‘s ego? We don’t care. Snoop is playing our parties, topless chicks are wrestling each other in a lube-filled pool, and, oh, yeah, Frank! The! Tank! Frank! The! Tank!

Ocean’s 11

oceans 11
Credit: Warner Bros.

These guys are a notch above the Reservoir Dogs. They rock sheen tuxes while conning Vegas casinos and totally getting away with it. Granted, they may be a little too Hollywood, but we’re still pining to commit the perfect crime, even if it means taking orders from George Clooney.

The Goonies

Credit: Amblin Entertainment

What more could you want than to be 12 and having adventures with your weirdo friends? Especially if your friends are a fat kid with his own dance, a Japanese kid with gadgets, a freak with a face that looks like it got smashed with a George Foreman grill, and Corey Feldman. Sign us up and let’s go find those gems!


Credit: Universal Pictures

We know this ain’t really a gang, necessarily, but what guy hasn’t pictured himself as Tony Montana? The hype on this flick refuses to die down and we still quote the hell out of it with a bad accent and curled lip.

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RG Daniels (@RGDaniels) is a comedian and writer in Brooklyn, NY.