Today’s Dumbass: 16-Year-Old Burglar Gets Stuck In Chimney

dumbass chimney
Credit: KCAL

Most teenagers know that Santa Claus isn’t realistic, and neither is his preferred method of entering a home. Nobody apparently told the 16-year-old who got stuck while shimmying down a chimney yesterday in a failed attempt to rob his friend’s grandmother, according to Los Angeles authorities.

The teen managed to repel 10 feet, but he’d eaten too many hamburgers and french fries (or cookies and milk?) and wedged himself inside. He began screaming for help; neighbors thought the shrieks were coming from a girl.

Firefighters pumped oxygen through the chute, cut through the house’s wall and rescued the wannabe Grinch with rope equipment from the U.S. Army Reserve. Police tweeted, “Just as well, large pitbull waiting inside for him.” And they couldn’t help but add:

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog