20 Signs That You Killed It This Summer

Chicago Area Beaches Found To Have High Contamination Levels

Credit: Jerry Genius/Getty Images

Every summer there’s a lot of pressure to make it better than the last. That’s why it’s important to look back and make sure you’ve done good work these last couple months, especially when there’s still time to make things right. Consider this a checklist to make sure you’re living this summer right.

1. You haven’t been able to move for a week due to an extreme sunburn.

2. You get nauseous if you even hear the word “tequila.”

3. You’ve worn out you’re A-Team swim shorts.

4. You have four different numbers in your cell-phone labeled “Beach Girl.”

5. You’ve put out multiple BBQ fires that have gotten “out of control.”

6. You’ve got a collage of pictures of you on roller coasters.

7. You have more pictures of you shirtless on Facebook than friends on Facebook.

8. You’re on your fifth pair of gas station sunglasses.

9. You know exactly why “White House Down ” is better than “Olympus Has Fallen.”

10. You look down on anybody who isn’t tanner than Italian leather.


11. You don’t remember wearing your Hawaiian shirt, but it somehow has new mystery stains.

12. You’ve become an expert on the world of booze with fruit in it.

13. You found out that beach was a nude beach…the hard way.

14. You’ve had a pool party going since Memorial Day.

15. You’re no longer allowed in the state of Florida.

16. You’re pretty sure you could’ve made out with Minnie Mouse at Disney World.

17. You did make out with Minnie Mouse at Disney World.

18. You have no memory of July.

19. You’re getting requests for copies of your road trip mixes.

20. You can’t tell your parents about any of it.

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Zachary Sims (@zacharysims) is a comedian, writer and big fan of your Tumblr.