Congratulations, buddy, you’ve found a girlfriend. We’re so happy for you! It’s always great to see two people blissfully in love — unless your love is the toxic, desperate, codependent, terrifying variety. In that case, get a room and please stay there.
Is your romantic fulfillment making all your friends cringe and silently wonder what the f**k happened to you? Over at BroBible, Rebecca Martinson (of “deranged sorority girl” fame) breaks down the most annoying couples you’ll ever go on a double-date with…
The Ones Who Went Downhill
He may have stopped shaving, brushing his teeth, or taking part in anything generally considered hygienic. She stopped doing her hair, wears sweatpants 24/7 and doesn’t even wear basic makeup. The only way for either of them to start “living” again is to break up and realize that guaranteed sex isn’t guaranteed anymore.
They Take PDA To A Whole New Level
The only place this is appropriate is at clubs or on drunken bar dance floors, and even then it’s still gross.
You’re trying to hang out with him, not her, and she goes everywhere he goes. No one likes dating p***ies unless they’re lesbians, and the fact that you’re whipped isn’t appealing to anyone, including her.