Credit: Koichi Kamoshida/Getty Images
No guy should pay $800 for a dog, but that doesn't make it OK to steal one -- especially not by smothering it with your junk.
Police in Orlando, Florida are looking for a man caught on camera stuffing two puppies into his pants at a pet shop. He first took an $800 pug, then returned to the store and stole a $750 miniature dachshund. He avoided suspicion, police say, because he was accompanied by another man, a woman and a toddler, who appeared to be his family.
The pet store's owner is offering a $250 reward, so contact authorities if you notice anyone selling a pug or dachshund that smells like underwear. (We're not sure how much respect you get in prison for this, but it's probably very little.)