Why A-Rod Is The Walter White Of MLB

New York Yankees v Chicago White Sox
Credit: Getty Images/AMC

We can’t get away from the coverage of A-Rod, nor can we ignore the return of Walter White on “Breaking Bad.” Therefore, our brains have mashed the two together, making us realize they have more in common than we ever saw. In fact, the similarities seem uncanny. Below, we’ve listed the career arcs of both men, which overlap in strange, monumental ways. (There are SPOILER ALERTS, if you’re still catching up on B-Bad.)

A-Rod hits first home run, appears with Derek Jeter on the cover of SI
Walt teams up with Jesse Pinkman and cooks his first batch of meth

A-Rod hits 100th home run, earning his reputation as a serious player
Walt offs rival dealer Krazy 8, earning his reputation as “Heisenberg”

A-Rod signs MASSIVE contract with the Texas Rangers for 10 years, $252 million
Walt and Pinkman steal a barrel of methylamine, ensuring long-term fiscal security

A-Rod hits 300th home run and wins AL Most Valuable Player
Walt kills Tuco, becoming Albuquerque’s Most Violent Pusher

A-Rod is traded to the Yankees, baseball’s most feared team
Walt partners with Gus Fring, drug kingpin of the Southwestern US

A-Rod is spotted in illegal poker dens around NYC
Walt’s wife Skyler becomes suspicious of his activities

George Steinbrenner singles out A-Rod for poor performance
Tensions between Walt and Fring begin to bubble, as it becomes unclear who’s working for whom: Walt for Gus? Or vice versa?

A-Rod is photographed sunbathing in Central Park, then has a terrible game
Walt’s ego is swelling, and he starts a war with a cartel in Mexico

A-Rod and Jeter are sick of each other.
Walt and Pinkman are sick of each other

A-Rod laughs while running past Toronto’s 3rd baseman, drops a routine fly ball and loses the game for his team
Walt is getting a little carried away with his “talent”; Skyler wants him out of the house

A-Rod hits 500th home run, wins 3rd MVP award, and opts out of his contract
Walt opts out of getting killed by Fring, orders Jesse to murder backup cook Gale

A-Rod’s name keeps getting mentioned as a steroid user
Fring keeps Walt on a short leash, monitoring his every move

A-Rod wins World Series
Walt kills Gus Fring

A-Rod is benched in playoffs
Walt leaves the meth game and gets back to being a family man

MLB finally suspends A-Rod for alleged steroid use
DEA agent Hank finally connects Walt with blue meth

+ Follow Guy Code on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Google+

RG Daniels (@RGDaniels) is a comedian and writer in Brooklyn, NY.