36 Best Fantasy Football Names For 2013

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‘Tis the season to be drafting your fantasy football team and, more importantly, coming up with funny or obnoxious or clever or offensive team names. Ideally some combination of all four. Offseason activities — particularly those of Aaron Hernandez — have given plenty of fodder to those looking for material for a good team name. Not judging.

Already Anthony Weiner’s “Carlos Danger” alter-ego has already been beaten off to death by fantasy players, so we won’t bother dropping that moniker below. We’ve also steered away from derivations of Manning, Rodgers, Brees and other established players. Also, adios to: I’m a Man, I’m Forte!, It’s On Like Ndamukong, Titus Young and the Restless, I Pitta the Fool, Forgetting Brandon Marshall and Gronk If You’re Horny. Without further ado, we’ve once again curated the best fantasy names we could find on the Web for the just-about-here NFL season, and added in a bunch of our favorites.

Minnesota Vikings Rookie Camp
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1. I Shot the Sharrif

2. Mingo Ate My Baby

3. Montee Ball So Hard

4. Spiller, Not A Squirter

5. Bjoern Under a Bad Sign

6. Hail Mary, Amendola

7. Zac Stacy’s Mom Has Got It Going On

8. Is That Your Final Ansah?

9. Dirty Joeckel Straps

10. Gone Catfishing

11. Barack Obamanu

12. Cooper Clux Clan

The Aaron Hernandez Section 

13. Aaron Hernandez Had A Killer Offseason

14. Innocent Until Proven Hernandez

15. Caught Red Hernandez

16. Hernandez’s Pistol Offense

17. Jersey Exchange Program

The Rest

18. Kaep’n Crunch 

Super Bowl XLVII - Baltimore Ravens v San Francisco 49ers
Photo:Rob Tringali/Getty Images

19. McCluster F**k

20. Wilfork on First Date

21. Mingo Unchained

22. Ridley’s Believe It or Not!

23. Motion In The Knowshon

24. Weeden Wayne Bowe

25. Four Skins (Note: Draft RG3, Morris, Garcon and one more Redskin)

Wild Card Playoffs - Seattle Seahawks v Washington Redskins
Photo: Patrick McDermott/Getty Images

26. Dumervil’s Copy & Fax

27. Le’Veon Bell of the Montee Ball

28. Cromartie Gras

29. Vladimir Putin’s Bling Ring

30. Geno 911!

31. SmokinWeedenMyCribbs

32. Blurred Tynes

33. Salute Your (Cecil) Shorts

34. Boston Tebow Party

35. Wine Her, Dine Her, 49er 

36. 2-Min Drill In Ur Mom

Annoying Arizona Cardinals Fan Editor Adds More:

37. Burning Down the Housler

38. Floydian Complex

39. Tyrann-osaurus Wrecks

40. Minter Chocolate Chip

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Brett Smiley (@brettsmiley) is much better at fantasy baseball than football.