Credit: Bazooka Life
Girls have to search high and low, through catalogs and basement bargain bins, for the perfect swimsuit that plays up our assets and draws attention away from shortcomings. Guys have it so much easier — just buy plain shorts — but some of you still don cringe-worthy swimwear every summer. Here are examples of beach attire to avoid. Forever.
1. Animal Prints
Leave the spots to Snooki, guys. If you insist on wearing something this tight in this print, we’ll hope sharks have a taste for cheetah.
2. Being “Hilarious”
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It was funny when “Borat” did it. Way back in 2006. Now you’ll only get shudders, not laughs.
3. Matching Your Girlfriend
It doesn’t really matter what she promises you, or what you’re making up to her. There’s no excuse for his-and-hers swimwear.
The beach is no place for your coin slot to make an appearance. Your crack hasn’t seen much sun; it will burn easily.
We respect you going to the opposite end of the spectrum from a Speedo, but these are basically pants. C’mon, guys, show a little leg.